Choux Pastry Heart

Author's Notes: i wanna expand this into a proper fic ome day instead of just having it be an insane person's tweet rambling

Haru dating Ren and trying to make long-distance work. She’s feeling lonely now that she isn’t in school anymore and she wonders if this is how Yusuke had felt whenever the Phantom Thieves talked about stuff at school. She decides to reach out to him, feeling a little silly that she’s relying on her younger friend to comfort her again since he helped her out during those anxiety-filled days after her father had his heart changed. Also, Yusuke is fun. He’s ecstatic that Haru wants to spend time with him though is busy with trying to get ready for his own grad.

She offers to help out during her own spare time. They go grocery shopping together, with her insisting on paying for the “fancier” things he sampled and liked. She helps him with studying for exams even if Shujin's exams are different from Kosei's. They bond over art even if their mediums aren’t the same. Yusuke even takes up sewing and gardening (or considers it anyway) because Haru likes it so much. They trade their creations with each other and cherish them even if they aren’t the best at each other’s things.

Ren tries his best to call and text as often as he can. He’s busy with exam prep and work, trying to save up so he can eventually visit her. But he tries. He notices Haru takes a while to reply sometimes which makes him worry but is kinda relieved when Haru apologizes and tells Him about her day and how close she and Yusuke have gotten lately. She sends pictures of the crafts she makes, sometimes Yusuke modeling them, or the drinks she makes. Ren feels a bit weird that all she talks about is Yusuke but bites his tongue.

As graduation ticks closer, Yusuke feels anxious. He doesn’t know where he’s staying after graduation. He already struggles with food and supplies, how is he going to handle rent when he moves out of the dorms? Haru’s jokes about living with her echo in his head.

He shakes the thought away. He couldn’t possibly. Especially when she’s the unintentional source of another bout of anxiety.

He isn’t able to think of any ideas for his final project, his mind is full of Haru. Surely, it’s because they’re spending so much time together. He might as well paint her— then it clicks. Why shouldn’t he? The thought relieves him of his earlier anxiety.

He asks Haru to model for him. She reluctantly agrees, mostly out of modesty but she is flattered. She tells Ren this.

"Don’t you two spend enough time together though? You’d think you’re dating him instead.”

Then apologizes.

But it bugs Haru.

Is what she’s doing weird?

As Yusuke rings off various concepts for the project, most of them framing her as this sublime being, she can’t stop thinking about how uncomfortable Ren sounded. She bites her lip as she tries to pay attention to what Yusuke is saying. Suddenly, she sees all these details about him that she’s never noticed before; how deep the shade of grey his eyes are, how shiny his hair is, how elegantly he brushes his hair behind his ear, how long his eyelashes are, how subtle his smile is.

Her heart throbs.

Yusuke asks what’s wrong, as oblivious as he is to social cues, he can tell when someone is, well, whatever is going on with Haru right now. She shakes her head, saying she just has stuff from the company on her mind. He mills on that for a bit before moving on. He shows her the concepts again and Haru is really taken aback by all the details there are, even if they’re just sketchy thumbnails. They're all beautiful but she doesn't know how she feels about being framed as a queen or goddess (hah)... so she picks the simplest one in her eyes. It feels the most her.

Days later, Ren’s comment still rings in her head. It’s all so confusing especially after she looked at Yusuke the other day. She shows up in his dorm in her old leotard, as the piece is her as a ballerina like the painting that got her into dance, to begin with. She smiles as he prepares the room and canvas. The fact that he remembered something she said offhand once warms her heart. That fact kickstarts the montage. The way his eyes lit up when she showed him the painting in person. The enthusiasm he had whenever they’d go to an art exhibit in Ueno The warmth he showed her when they were practically strangers. Every memory they made together in the past year or so makes her heart glow. Electricity pulses through her veins and her stomach is now doing pirouettes.

“Haru? I’m ready to start.”

“Oh yes, sorry!”

They smile at each other. She gets into position, arabesque, she’s stretched out while on the tips of her toes. He assures her she doesn’t have to stay that way for too long. He’s going to sketch her the pose first then she can rest. Then he’d block the colors.

Everything goes so fast but she still feels the strain on her muscles, unused to moving this way after years. He isn’t cruel. He gives her things to lean on as he tries to capture the lighting and doesn’t expect her to stay on her tiptoes any longer than the sketch. Eventually, she falls. As he helps her up, she’s suddenly nervous about how nice his hands feel on her. “Let’s find another position that’d be more comfortable, I’m sorry I drove you to this point.” He murmurs. She doesn’t care if her ankle aches she just wants him to stay—

Their eyes meet and she realizes something. She likes him. More than just that. Her breath is caught in her throat and she jumps onto her feet and goes to leave. He asks what’s wrong and she just melts. She steals a kiss from him, tearing up as he returns it.

He doesn’t know why he’s returning the kiss. His body is acting on his own. They’re both acting on instinct. Everything suddenly makes sense while becoming incomprehensible. “Can we move to the bed?” Haru can’t believe the words coming out of her lips. He gulps then nods.

They know it's wrong despite how well their everything fits. Each dip and groove on each other's bodies is the perfect space for the other like a long-missing puzzle piece that was finally found. 'It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong.' repeats itself constantly in their minds as their lips meet one another. Sparks light under their skin, intense and bright like fireworks crackling into the night. It's short but it's breathtaking and then another wave of light and heat comes as instantly as it left. Once upon a time, Haru would have thought that such a slight boy would have crumbled to dust under her gentle touch. It’s different now. She knows Yusuke. She’s seen him fight hoards of foes alongside her. And now, she’s touching him, feeling the hard definition of his muscles and sinew under his alabaster flesh. He’s sculpted like the marble masterpieces that the masters he worships crafted centuries ago. As she splays her hands across his body, drinking in every detail and sensation she can in that moment, one thought is on her mind; Yusuke Kitagawa is art. Part of her wonders if he felt the same way about her before seeing her fight in Mementos. Haru can’t help but feel narcissistic as she wonders if he’s just as mesmerized by the give of her supple flesh and silently comparing it to the statue of Hades and Persephone as he ravished her. Yusuke has stolen her, both body and soul.

She’s so warm and tight and slick for him. She can’t bear it. It’s a kind of wonderful that’s too good to be true. Her back arches, heavy breasts pressing against his chest, as he dives into her. His mouth is everywhere he can reach; her forehead, her eyelids, the apples of her cheek, her jawline, her neck, and finally her lips. Yusuke’s cock is bigger than Ren’s (oh god, it embarrasses her to even notice something like that) but he doesn’t know how to quite use it. Ren knows her spots and is arguably better but somehow it can’t compare to how right this feels.

Is it his first time? It has to be his first time.

He’s clumsy, desperate, and all over the place. She wouldn’t dare have it any other way. It's a stark contrast to the composed elegance he likes to show everyone else. This is a sight for her and only her. Realistically, Haru knows he was flustered and undone around other people, but, she hopes that this is different. It’s a stolen moment that she’ll keep inside her heart for the rest of her life, like a picture in an old locket.

Silently, he mouths something against her pulse. To anyone else, they would have heard nonsense slowly being drowned out by their pants and moans but deep in Haru’s heart, she knows he told her that they can’t do this again. It would never be the right time for them. Even if things ended with Ren and her, how could they go on? How could they move onto something more than friends knowing they betrayed their leader’s trust? There was no going back to being friends after this. Where did that leave them?

Haru chokes back a sob. Yusuke trembles in her embrace.

They keep going though as this can never happen again so they have to make the most of it.

The sound of Haru’s phone buzzing and beeping echoes through the muggy, messy dorm room, reminding them of the world outside.

They keep going.

Yusuke’s thrusts grow wilder. Haru’s grip on him grows tighter. Teeth and nails drag across each other’s skin, painting angry red lines and red dots that’ll eventually fade to deep purple and blue that would tell everyone what happened even days afterward. Still, they continue. They have to make the most of it.

Minutes that might as well be hours pass and soon both of their phones are buzzing every other second as if the world is signaling that their time together is up. They ignore it. They have to. They refuse to stop until they simply can't anymore.

Heat and emotion continues to pour and pour and pour until it’s too much and it overflows. Yusuke mutters an apology as he spills inside of her. It’s enough to drag Haru under as well. There’s a slim trickle of panic—oh god, they did it raw, oh god, oh god—that’s snuffed out by the pure sensation of her orgasm.

Yusuke huffs as he tries to push himself off of her. Haru doesn’t let him. Her hands cradle his face, stained a healthy red and dripping with sweat, and she stares into his dark eyes, ready to drown in him once again but their time is up and they can never do this again.