Ice Cream Sundae Spoons

Author's Notes: thank you to pengwin who commed this idea that had been sitting in my ideas doc for a while. love these two!

“To think that such an important man would settle for a low-class cur like me...”

Ferdinand gulped as Constance leaned against him. Her blonde locks tickled his chin. The light reflecting off of it in the late-day sun was both enchanting and blinding. Guilt wormed its way into his stomach as the former noble’s hand continued to stroke him off. His eyes fluttered shut as her grip stayed nice and snug around his softening prick. He desperately tried to think of things that aroused him to stay hard but her near-constant self-deprecation was depressing.

Images of her in various stages of undress flashed in his mind. The subtle yet elegant curves of her backside and trim legs, the beautiful shape of her perfect bosom that fit perfectly in his palms, the sultry look in her half-lidded eyes, and, of course, the sensation of her wonderful body against his... These were all things that drove Ferdinand von Aegir crazy. He loved how assertive and confident she was. That same confidence stayed in the bedroom as well. They were always done when Constance said they were done. She truly was the only woman for him. Of course, he adored every part of her, inside and out.

...However, her condition left things awkward in the daytime if she didn’t have her parasol.

Today, she didn’t.

The two of them were on a stroll during a particularly dark and dreary day in the monastery’s courtyard. Chaste kisses and sweet nothings were exchanged. Lingering stares and touches that both lasted an eternity and not long enough soon followed. Light pecks turned into deep, long kisses that no nobleman should be caught in the middle of. Their tongues tied together into sloppy knots as saliva rolled down their chins and soft moans drifted into each other’s mouths. Ferdinand was thrown onto his back behind a trail of thick bushes as Constance lay next to him, cooing about how worked up he was.

“Only because I’m with you, Constance,” he murmured against her neck. A sigh escaped him as her elegant hand wrapped around his stiff erection. Then the sun ripped through the thick overcast and poured onto the adoring couple.

“Ah... I see, I do not blame you, Sir Ferdinand...” she whimpered as his erection finally disappeared in her grasp. His limp penis slumped against the side of her pale hand. She stroked him desperately only for it to flop around like a sad pale fish. She squeezed him tightly around the base and pulled upward as if the motion would be enough to revive him. “I too... Would struggle to stay aroused if I were to lay with someone as pathetic as I.”

“Please! Please do not speak like that about yourself, dear Constance!” He cried out before stealing her lips. A fire burned in his veins as pure desperation pumped through his veins. His tongue pushed into her mouth as he pinned her to the grass and lay her among the wildflowers. Panting, he bit the end of his gloved finger and pulled it off in a smooth motion before casting the glove aside. He hiked up her many skirts and searched for her clit through her undergarments. “It is I that is at fault! If I were more of a man... I would surely make love to you right here and right now! I would officially make you my wife and fat with an heir! Several! Please forgive me, my sweetest Constance. I require just a moment and then...”

Her panties were pushed aside to reveal her womanhood. Droplets of honey dribbled from her folds but it was not as much as he hoped. It appeared that she too was having trouble getting aroused. Determination boiled inside of the redhead as he discovered her clit and rolled it around in messy, hard circles.

“How about this? Is this doing anything for you, my dear? How about now? Do you need me to whisper sweet nothings into your ear as I do this?” Words spilled from his busy lips as he mashed his fingers around down there.

“This treatment... it is what I deserve.”

“Yes! It is true! You deserve to feel this way!”

A sad smile crossed Constance’s lips as she stared vacantly into the distance as a single tear rolled down her cheek. “I did not expect such a noble man as you to take me so roughly and torture me as so... This discomfort is unbearable. It is truly what a wretch like me deserves.”

The two decided to end their attempt at an illicit rendezvous there and have the most awkward tea party in the history of Fodlan.